Thursday, December 19, 2013

Hear Me Out: On Being Hard of Hearing and Loving It.

So, I have been hard of hearing since I was about three years old. I got sick and lost a lot of my hearing. I wear my Hearing Aids when I want to but otherwise I don't. So living with me can be really interesting. But before you start thinking, "man, that must suck." Just hear me out, and when I'm finished saying what I have to say, maybe you'll think otherwise. I give you permission to laugh at the following blog post. I certainly think it's a good time. 

1. When I put in my Hearing Aids.

2. How people feel when I put in my Hearing Aids

3. When I take my Hearing Aids out.

4. How people feel when I take out my Hearing Aids.

5.The whispered romantic "sweet nothings" are utterly lost on me.

What he says:

What I hear:

6. When I am watching movies or TV with friends.

7. So then they put on subtitles.

8. But since my ears are broken my observational skills are pretty good.

9. When others get in my car and my music starts playing.

10. When I'm not wearing my Hearing Aids and someone tries to pay me a compliment or starts to talk about me behind my back (literally).

12. When I am in class, or church or somewhere else that I kinda want to listen to what is being said and I realize I forgot my Hearing Aids.

13. What it feels like wearing Hearing Aids.

14. When someone tells a joke and I am not wearing Hearing Aids.

15. When I accidentally interrupt someone because I am not wearing my hearing aids and I didn't even know they were talking.

16. That one time I accidentally wore my Hearing Aids while driving and I realized the blinker thing "clicks."

At first I was like:

Then I was like:

Then I thought of all the people that can hear that all the time.

17. When you and I least expect it, I hear something.

18. When someone tries to talk to me and my or their back is turned.

19. Oddly, when firecrackers explode or balloons pop or things of that nature go off when I am not wearing my Hearing Aids

20. When I wear my Hearing Aids, at first, I talk like this because I think I'm talking really loudly because I can actually hear myself. 

21. When someone tells me to speak up when I am wearing my Hearing Aids.

22. What people who don't know I am hard of hearing might think I am.

23. Because I may seem like I am ignoring them but really I'm probably not even aware they exist yet because I am not wearing my hearing aids.

24. When I finally tell them I am hard of hearing and they all of a sudden try to speak to me really loudly and slowly.

25.  When the microwave dings, or my alarm goes off, or my roommates come in late and crash into something, when dogs bark at night, when someone tries to talk to me while they are in another room, when a boy tries to tell me he thinks I'm cute, I have a cold, there are explosions, book cases falling over, loud movies, gun shots, blenders, horns honking, loud neighbors etc.

So, being hard of hearing? It's a riot. A really quiet riot. But I can't imagine life any other way.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

29 (Odd) Theme Songs for My Everyday Life (And Accompanying GIFs)

These are(some of)the theme songs of my life.

1. When I fall asleep in class.

"Wake Me Up" - Avicii/Aloe Blacc

2. When I pick up a really hot pan on accident.

"Drop it like it's Hot." - Snoop Dogg/ Pharrell Williams

3. When I am listening to Rap.

"Rap God" - Eminem

4. When someone tells me they don't like Lord of the Rings or Ketchup.

"Shut Up" - The Black Eyed Peas

5. When I try to get past someone but we do that weird, awkward thing where we both go the same way multiple times and can't get past each other. You know what I'm talking about.

"Pardon Me" - Incubus

6. When I have "reached [my] destination" but Siri just keeps talking.

"Don't Speak" -No Doubt

7. When someone asks to see my ID

"My Name Is" - The Slim Shady (Eminem)

8. When I get to the top of a flight of stairs.

"Started from the Bottom" - Drake

9. When I'm sitting on an airplane

"Frozen" - Jared Evan

10. When I held a baby or small child for the first time.

"The Fear" - Ben Howard

11. When I have food poisoning

"Poison and Wine" - The Civil Wars

12. When my conscience tries to tell me that I should study for finals or write that really important paper for my class.

"Unwritten" - Natasha Bedingfield 

13. When someone asks me what I want to do with my life.

"I Don't Want to Be" - Gavin DeGraw

14. When they ask if I'm dating anyone.

"I Know What Boys Like" - The Waitresses

15. When I go to a restaurant or to the movies by myself.

"All By Myself" - Celine Dion

16. When I see a cute guy.

"Nicest Thing" - Kate Nash

17. What anti - aging creams companies tell me will happen if I use their products.

"Young Forever" - Jay Z

18. What really happens.

"Jokes On You" - Kill the Noise

19. I'm a college student.

"Thrift Shop" - Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

20. So when I  find a lucky penny...

"Boy with a Coin" - Iron and Wine

21. When I've had too much caffeine.

"The Good Times are Killing Me" - Modest Mouse

22. When you are hard of hearing like me and you can't, for the life of you, hear what the person talking to you is saying.

"Whatcha Say" - Jason Derulo

23. And you're too embarrassed to make them repeat themselves for the fourth time.

"Whats Hurts the Most" _ Rascal Flatts

24. What some might think when I tell them I am "taking time off school."

"Bad to the Bone" - George Thorogood and the Destroyers

25. But it's really a lot like this.

"Nobody Knows Me At All" - Deb Talan

26. When I got an Iphone

"Don't Judge Me" - Chris Brown

27. When my nails finally get long and then I get a hang nail.

"Hanging On" - Ellie Goulding

28. When I'm Pinteresting, Netflixing, Facbooking, Snapchatting, Instagramming or blog-posting.

"Hypnotize" - The Notorious B.I.G.


"At Last" - Etta James