Lately I have been concentrating on how I can be my best self. I have been pondering how I can improve, how I can grow and change for the better but a thought struck me as I was flossing my teeth tonight. I have always wanted to be the kind of person that others feel better, do better and are better around. I want to help others to be the best they can be. Not in a pushy way but more of a "domino effect" kind of way. I just want to be me and be good so others can be too. I like it when others feel free to be themselves around me. Maybe I'd be more like the "absence of an obstacle." I don't want to hinder another's progression. And maybe I could be of help to them. I don't want to make it hard for them to be and do good. I don't want to cause them pain because of human selfishness.
I am motivated both by internal and external circumstance depending on what it is I need motivation to do. In this case I am motivated by the external "team" aspect of this way of thinking. I am motivated to be better because if I am better I can help someone else become better too. We ARE all in this together and I want to be a team player. So I am going to, now, think of ways I can be better and give others the opportunity to do the same. I really do want to help the world and those in it by being the best I can be as who I am. I like who I am but know I need to grow and improve daily and I want to help others learn to love themselves and improve and progress. So I am more than a little weird and dorky, I love Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter, I love watching old episodes of Victor Borge and drinking unsweetened almond milk and soy milk and re-reading the classics over and over again. I don't pair up my socks before I toss them in the drawer, I am more than a little afraid of bugs and I may or may not skip taking a shower every once in a while.That's me and as long as I never begin to endeavor to hurt others I know being me is okay. Although, for those of you who have a keen sense of smell who have encountered me on a day where I had tried to surreptitiously skip taking a shower I sincerely apologize for any harm I may have caused you and your nostrils. Believe me, it was unconsciously done.
On another note there is an awkward time in Provo just before school starts. This phenomenon happens without fail annually. My housing contract ended Monday but my new contract does not begin until Friday. Many students are in the same boat as I am. So Provo, for about two weeks, inhabits about 20,000 college age vagrants in various stages of homelessness, waiting for the keys to their new homes. I must say it is quite an experience being "homeless." I am now a master couch surfer and would most likely win the gold medal if their was an olympic event for that. But I guess home is where the heart is and my heart is all around. There are so many wonderful people and places I have encountered that have made me better and my love more extensive by the love they have shown me. I don't believe the love we can feel is finite. I believe it is limitless. We just have to decided to let our love grow. The amount of love we can feel for someone is not dependent on the amount of people we know. Love is not dispersed of like money or rations. Love is something that can always be in full supply. Instead of giving 5 friends only 20% of my love I will give them each 100% of my love. Friends and family help us increase our love. I don' believe that love is in danger of running out. If we chose to replenish and nourish and grow it daily we'll never run out.
Also, recently I have been listening to a few CES talks on CD that a friend let me borrow and I have loved them. They are so funny and insightful! So far I have listened to "It Is Not the Dress but the Girl In the Dress" and "The Difference One Can Make." Both of them were fantastic and I highly recommend them. And now I am listening to "Getting Past 'If Only'." It talks about Agency and how we can improve our ability to exercise it and become who we want to be. Thank you Provo Library. So far I enjoy it and have learned from it. I recommend it as well. Both the book and the Provo Library.
On monday I submitted a few pieces of writing to a publishing site for the first time so we will see how that goes. I will most likely get a ton of rejections but that is okay! I won't let it get me down. I'll just improve and try,try again. The rejections I receive throughout my life will most likely out number my successes and acceptances but just one acceptance is worth more than a stack of rejections anyway.
Life is just so full of fun and new challenges. Carry on my friends because this life and the people in it are worth it.
Quotable food for thought:
"No Failure Ever Need Be Final" -Thomas S. Monson
"Inconvenience is just adventure wrongly considered." - G.K. Chesterton