Life feels very stagnant right now. It makes me think back to my Track races. I remember getting into the blocks. fidgeting, getting comfortable, trying to stay focused my hands covered in sweat, chalk and dirt. I remember the terrible moment of complete stillness before the gun went off. The fear, the excitement, the self doubt but also the hope. The hope that this might be my best race, that I might reach a new personal best or finally feel accomplished after I cross the finish line. Then the run. Then the stretch. Then the movement. Some days I would choke, somedays I would win. There are times in life ranging from moments to years that can feel like this. Life feels pointless, empty....lifeless. Full of fear and doubt but a small sliver of hope always seems to accompany all of that. Hope that one day all the little things I do will make an impact. That when the race is over and life comes to a close that it was not in vain. That someone benefited from my life. That I helped people in my own way. I want to move. However, I refused to be afraid of the stillness, I will breathe and brave it. At the same time I want to be ready for the movement. I have one shot at life. I don't want to be stuck in the blocks. I don't want to choke.
On an entirely random note Ben Howard is awesome so I want to share one of his songs.